Intersections

It's been a little while since I made an appearance but I am back. Life is strange. Things can go from routine and pattern-like to things changing in a major way. I have experienced things and been a part of things I never thought I ever would this past year.

So many twists and turns.... I guess the point of life is to pull down the protective bar and enjoy the wild ride.

Do people meet randomly ? do people meet intentionally ? is there some major chess board in the sky ? how do lives cross and how do we know if those 'intersections have meaning ? This a question that I ponder often and I never do have a good handle.... I feel when we 'intersect' we add something to someone else's life or bring some meaning to another's life. So no I do not think this chess board is all that random at all. I also know our lives are interrelated by relationships that are not weakened by either distance or time. I still care for those who are no longer living and I still can feel they care for me.

Intersections....

Freedom

This video was posted on fb by one of my oldest friends and it brings back lots of memories and even today makes me want to sing along. And it is a visually beautiful video by any standards.

Alone

In one of my favorite shows the main character states that we are born alone, die alone, and everything else in between are rules imparted on us by society. At first glance I tend to agree with the observation. But I then gave it some more thought.

You do come into the world alone to some degree. I think we do not leave alone. Our lives are filled with people coming and going into our lives. If we are lucky we have many who remain with us and become true friends. So I do not agree with the statement because we leave the world with people and or some, their spirits, for those who leave us early.

The mechanism through which people walk into our lives and the timing is something entirely intriguing and fun to ponder.

ice cream

If you love ice cream and have to go without it for a long while. You eventually realize you can live without it. Life does goes on. But when you do get a taste of it again you have that "wow" factor of - this is simply incredible... and you come to realize "I appreciate this far more than I did when I used to have it any time".

Funny how that works...

Walks on the Beach & Snuggling

Damn, "You and I Both" is such a good song. Every time I hear it I just enjoy it and I never get tired of it. Really smooth songwriting by Mraz.

While reading over some old emails a few days ago, I crossed paths with one where I was asked if I were a 'romantic'. I thought I answered pretty honestly but I may have been a bit understated at that time. Maybe I was holding back a little - slightly unsure of the situation or what was unfolding. I realize now that I am far more romantic than I would like to admit. I love sentimental things. I do find meaning in almost everything like songs, places, and favorite foods. I love mix tapes and mix CDs. I love grand gestures and blowing a person away with your deep heartfelt feelings. I am the kind of person who would do anything to make you smile. I can fall deep and fall hard. At my core I am a sappy person who can be a cheeseball. I enjoy a romantic comedy as much as anybody does - don't admit but I do. Quite possibly I had done a good job of covering that part of myself up that it rarely came up to play.

I think I most certainly was understating when I was asked the first time. I will get the opportunity to flex these muscles again as I try to rebuild things.

You and I Both

Here is the funny, ironic thing, today my special friend was on my mind fairly often. This one's for her...

Fathers Day

I had an incredibly wonderful father's day yesterday. We all went for a walk and took the doggie to a dog park, he almost got attacked by a 200 lb Mastiff, which would have been bad but it was funny to see him stand up to a 200 lb dog, impressive little bastard. We went over to the pool and that was nice. My parents drove up and my mother made my favorite meal, lasagna. The Mets-Yankess gmae was on tv yesterday, even though we lost I loved the fact that I could see it on national tv.

I got a super cool lego kit for the Empire State Building, built it with my little one and it now sits on my desk. It was picked out for me because of the NYC connection plus its my favorite building back home. I also received a tickets to see the Mets play the Braves in Atlanta, with seats right behind home plate. I was sort of blown away by the gifts and stuff from my wife yesterday, it was over the top but so much appreciated. It was an awesome day all around. Even watched an episode of Miami Vice last night which took place... where else New York City ! Perfect day.

For all that has gone on it was a very very nice day enjoyed by everyone. I enjoyed every minute of it.

I am a flawed character but I try so hard to be a good father. I wish I was better but at least I can say that I try my best even if I fail at times.

At the end of the night yesterday I was walking the dog and walking back towards the house the moon sat so amazingly large... like a huge beach ball.... right over the house, it was amazing, the moonlight was so bright it was reflecting off the roof. It was both beautiful and breathtaking at the same time. Those are the gems you don't miss when you walk a dog late at night. There are gems everywhere and all around us.

I completed a very cool drawing that I may turn into a full blown painting. I haven't decided yet but it conceptually has promise. I was supposed to review drawings today but I have been avoiding it like the plague... too boring for me on a Monday. It seems I was successful, the workday is nearly over.

Creative Career

I was watching this fabulous documentary about advertising and when it reaches certain heights it is "art". It talked a lot about how advertising is really about human connection and not purely the "sale". The idea of touching mass people and bringing millions of people together through experience is pretty impressive idea. The documentary was much more than I had hoped for.

Part of a creative career, the inside part, is the core of "why" you do it. A thought I have recently read about hit a note with me. When one has a career that allows you to create something "real" in the physical world it is a way of "cheating death". I create things that will last beyond my lifetime and touch people's lives that I will never meet. That ripple effect is extremely powerful and fuels the "why do I do this" every day. I think most certainly my desire is to "cheat death" and live beyond what I will be limited to in this life. This concept is a perfect snapshot for me. It applies to both my career and my art.

Times like These

Recent Mood

As you can tell recently I have been in a visual mood. Not writing as much but sharing with music and visuals. Today I can summarize how I feel with the song "Times like These". It is perfect for my frame of mind right now on this very day.

Happy Friday !

" Always On Your Side "

Jackson Five - ABC

Eye of the Storm

So as I mentioned yesterday, I feel like I am (metaphorically speaking) in the eye of a storm right now in my life. Last night while running the skies turned deep navy blue and the air got real cool. A thunderstorm was brewing while I was mid-way away from home. I kept on running and had faith I'd get back before it down poured. While on the way I was struck with the beauty of the skies and the coolness of the air and the sense of the storm coming. So wonderful and I did make it home in time.

That was the upside of the night... here's the downside. As I was helping a friend load her car, the rain had slowed down. I looked over a noticed a very large portion of a huge tree branch lying across the roof of my car. I would say about a 14' long brand landed on the my car denting the roof in right behind the sun roof. I dragged it off and dragged it over to the curb (a very long way) and then checked out the damage.

So now I need to take the old car to a body shop to repair this act of god.

You win some you lose some.

Alone or not

Today started in a strange way as a small gnat flew into my right eye and that sucked. Later this evening as I went for a run another small bug flew into my other eye - I mean c'mon, seriously ? How can that happen two times one in each eye in the same damn day ?? how does that happen ? I mean what are the odds ?

I watched the end of "Up in the Air" tonight and it was a really good movie, very well written. The notion and philosophy of the main character (George Clooney) is very interesting. The notion that we are all alone and relationships are not really necessary. The main character states the people we have in our lives are baggage that weigh you down. I find it interesting because in some ways we are all alone, I agree with that notion - But - I do believe that true meaning in life comes from how we impact other people's lives in a positive way. So in my mind our relationships are critical to the footprints we leave in this world. It isn't left in what we do or what we create but out footprints are left in the people we touch.

Busy Friday

Tomorrow we head to Nashville. I am looking forward to getting out of town for a few days. It will be great to see a new place and also to spend time with friends. It should be a pretty few days according to the weather channel.

It's been a stormy evening tonight and the rain still beats on the skylights at this late hour.

It has been an extremely busy day getting ready for the trip, I am very tired, and have run out of gas - a rare occurrence for me. I need to start listening to my body.

Ramblings

I can honestly say that I do not have much to say. I might be out of words today.... nah, that's ridiculous, I am just thinking of other things. I am nearly finished reading a book that I have dragged out for so long that I want to finish it just for the sake of finishing it. To put it away. I am not letting myself do anything else until I finish, it is strangely motivating to me and I am excited to complete it. Why am I sharing that ? I have no idea.

I will say that I never had much of an opinion about Amy Winehouse until I listened to a few of her albums and man they are really good and I think she is very talented. I am impressed with her work. It doesn't hurt that she has a song called "F**k Me Pumps".

I plan on going for a run later this evening so I hope the heat backs off a little since today is a hot one. It is feeling like summer right now.

You know what would be fun ? to occasionally peek into some one's mind and see what they are thinking and see all their dark and deep desires. People are so guarded and it would be fun to see their mind at work. Those who are most proper would probably be the most entertaining. I bet it would shock most people what goes on in there. It would not shock me, at least I don't think it would. Now that would be a "super power" worth having.

Everything is everything.

Large Moon

Today was a really good day for several reasons. First of all the moon is full tonight and it is absolutely huge in the sky. It is unreal how the moon looks tonight, incredible. It shines and glows in a most amazing way.

So today I ended up giving in and calling her. I know I struggled with it and I know I talked myself out of it a few times but I am so glad I did. I am very glad I did. It was so wonderful to talk, even briefly, to her again. I am still feeling my way through all of this and today felt right. As always things feel right when I follow my heart. I had something important to say. I was so nervous today and boy oh boy does so much around me feels like starting over in so many ways. Starts are good. I like starts much more then goodbyes. Goodbyes bring me down.

I may not be making much sense tonight but sometimes life doesn't make sense. What is important is to make the best of the ride.

The moon and the clouds are swirling under the milky way tonight.

New York State of Mind

Had another lunch date today and I think I may be starting to get her to like me again. I am doing everything I can and often I feel like I can't reach her. Like arrows that cannot penetrate the armor, and fall to the ground. It is almost surreal how it seems so much like starting over again. It would be easier with someone who didn't know me as well or have seen this "movie" before. All I can do is my best and continue to hope for the best.

I am missing New York of late. I think it may be time to return to the motherland and soak in some New York essence. It has been about 3 years since I've been back home. I miss the smells and energy and mass movement of the City. I think I need to get up there sometime soon to recharge my batteries.

As a side story my college roommate played "New York Sate of Mind" by Billy Joel on his CD player on endless repeat right before the holidays one year and ever since then it makes me think of home.

If not NY then I think I need to go somewhere, I need to travel somewhere new and explore some new things. I love travelling very much. It is awesome to take in new sights and sounds. This year I haven't been someplace new yet but I still have half a year left. Last year was my first trip to Colorado and it was fabulous... Oh wait, I do have a new place on the radar... Nashville, and I am heading there next week. Man, I can't believe I forgot about that one. That should be fun and interesting.

One more thing that I also miss is the touch of a partners skin. The simple touch that runs like electricity through you.

You can sense the summer starting around you in so many ways. The warmth and humidity. children getting excited, summer clothing, and warmer nights.

There is no finer beginning to a song than the first minute or so of "Bittersweet symphony" by the Verve. Every time I hear it I just stop what I am doing and listen, like right now.

I think the line "You are a slave to money, then you die" applies to so many people around you, it's sad but I am happy it does not apply to me.

Weekend Wrap Up

Is there anything better than a hot cup of coffee and two Reece's Peanut Butter Cups ?

I think not.

The weekend was lovely and pretty jam packed. Friday afternoon was totally out of the normal routine. Everyone was around. Had a lunch date and went to the movies. Shrek 4 is well worth the admission price. It was very funny and the writers found a way to make it "fresh" it functions almost as a new story standing alone from the others. Even though he has now let himself go I still love me some "Puss in Boots" (old photo)...

Saturday I found myself in a Roller Rink and then an amusement center.. I tried to run but I could not get away ! Had a nice long walk for two between rain drops on Saturday. Things are still very strained but slowly being attempted to be mended.

Sunday was a day of "getting crap done", not fun but necessary. I did clean out my closet a little and threw away a few older shirts. I actually found a few new shirts that I had forgotten about so - score ! I went for a run on Sunday but it was so humid I felt like I was running on some alien planet where the air was too thick - I struggled and did the best I could. I am feeling pretty 'fit' these days and am looking forward to summer gear - not that I am going to throw on a thong or anything but I do wear swim trunks often... now what the hell can I do about my chest being too white ? .... maybe I'll go "Jersey Shore" and hit the tanning bed - nah, that's not my style and unfortunately neither is skin cancer... light skin isn't that bad is it ?

Last night my NY Mets defeated the NY Yankees to take the first subway series of the year and I am absolutely thrilled about that ! I hate the friggin' Yankees ! The game was on ESPN and life is good when that happens. Great way to cap off a lovely weekend. Plus the Empire State Building in NYC will brightly show off the Mets colors for the next two weeks - let's go Mets ! I promptly made a posting last night to all NY to show my excitement of the Mets triumph... I expect a lot of crap today - but who cares !

Today has been busy, started employee reviews for the spring today. I am juggling several things and hoping they stay in the air. Got my car back from the shop today and my wallet is lighter again.... but what can you do ? Happy to get rid of the "loaner" cause it had no radio - yes, no radio..... silent driving is not meant for me.

Everything is everything (I love that statement)

Monster Vacation

Thursday, how do you get here so fast ?

Set-up Netflix last night for the very first time. My wife got a gift subscription so I got the job of setting it all up. We cued up the first two so I guess we'll see how this goes. One thing that is very cool is that you can have 'friends' and we already are hooked up with her brother and girlfriend and they have made some recommendations for us... very snazzy thinking on Netflix's part. I'd rather always go out but she would rather stay home and watch a movie so I think she will enjoy it. I hope it makes her happy.

Tomorrow we have plans to go see the new Shrek movie in 3d and I am very excited ! I am happy we can all go together on a Friday and I love the Shrek movies. They are so damn funny. I hope I get my car back today because the loaner does not have a radio and driving in silence is enough to make me wanna drive off a cliff... unfortunately I have no cliffs to drive off of here. I keep telling myself it's good for me, but that crap never works with me, I don't believe myself. I need my radio ! or more accurately my ipod in the car again !!!

So today I felt like departing from my usual approach to sketching and decided to do something fun. So below is today's sketch, "Monster Vacation", I enjoyed it and it makes me smile. These types of drawings are fun but I never really do them anymore, not sure why I ever stopped. At least the Monsters are relaxing. :)


Shout out for Chris Isaak for making cool music that make syou want to tap your feet to.

Sweet Humpday

One thing I love about my job is that today I spent the day selecting interior finishes for the building. Don't get me wrong I am all about designing the entire animal head to toe and the exteriors can be an ego trip but there is something about the interiors. I think its the fact that it is how people will experience the spaces as they move through them. I like selecting carpets, paints, and ceilings very much. I am also very good at it - or so I've been told.

Work has been insanely busy over the past two weeks and that is surely for the best. One meeting to the next. One fire that has to be put out after another.

So at lunch today I skipped out on a free lunch that would have been b-o-r-i-n-g and robbed me of 60 minutes of my life.... instead I grabbed my sketchbook and markers left the office and headed to dream land.

So I am feeling this bold graphic vibe that has almost an "ink" feel, but it's allure is the bold shapes and how your brain connects the dots. Simple beauty.

Happy Wednesday !

The dark clouds are closing in but it doesn't dampen the optimism in my heart.

Final thought.... how awesome is Stevie Wonder ? I say pretty damn awesome. "Hotter than July" by Stevie Wonder is an album everyone needs to own.

"Don't You Forget About Me"

I do not see a way for me to attach an audio file to the post otherwise I would have done it. The song is a cover by a band named Rufio of the mega 80s hit. My special friend gave the song to me and it is about getting to that time where the song makes me sad when I hear it and it holds more meaning than a 1980s movie like it used to.

Why do I bring this up you ask ? Well the reason is that I feel like my "one" (referred to in my first post) person is there and reading along. Knowing they are there makes my heart smile. It's hard to explain really, but knowing someone is there and still cares about you is, and will always be, a wonderful thing. It is a bright spot during a very dark period.

I think she won't forget about me or what we shared or how close we became.

Tuesday Vibe

It's a day for Electronica and some pounding music. There needs to be a beat, a solid beat. I can feel that vibe today. "Mad Flava" by Fatboy Slim currently spinning (in a digital sense). I am sensing the internal creative juices beginning to bubble up again. There have been many things stiffling those juices recently but they are slowly starting to boil as a pot of boiling water does in its very initial stages.

Here are some flashes of energy & visual juice for today...

I have plans tonight and that is good because it will continue to "hold back" the creative juices. The more they simmer the stronger they become. Bubble on up, baby.

I feel the urge to go to California.

Rain Drops

I have a great friend who is afraid of thunderstorms and she would not have liked how it was here this morning. It was pouring like some south Asian rain forest. Couldn't see ten feet in front of you while driving. I even hydro-planed at one point losing control of my car. That in itself didn't scare me but the fact my little girl was in the back seat made my heart skip several beats. Luckily I got control again before anything bad happened but it always makes you wonder when your "time" will be.

Today has been an insanely busy day at work and for that I am grateful. It's all good. I had a great weekend with my best little girl and what more can you ask for ?

The homily at Church on Sunday was very interesting, it seemed to be written directly for me. It a way I believe it was.

Oh, and if people lack courtesy around you... the only thing you can do is change your 'response' to them... that's it. You can't let that stuff bother you.

Labor Under the Hot Sun

Spent most of the day doing manual labor. Trimming things, and hedging things all around. As much as I am not a fan of working on landscape although I will say there is an inherent feeling of contentment when doing manual work. As I work in an office for the majority of my time I do not get to get my hands dirty often. It is a good thing to do so, even if to simply remind yourself how lucky you really are to work in a nice office and not strain your muscles. When I work for long hours outside I feel tired but spiritually refreshed in a strange way.

The day did start absolutely wonderfully with me having breakfast at my favorite greasy spoon with my daughter. We had a great time just talking and on the way out I asked her if she would take me out to breakfast when she was 30 and she said "of course". I have never been more happy to hear an "of course".

All That You Leave Behind

It's has been a tough month or so. It is so very hard to say goodbye to a dear close person in your life. The finality of it all is so very cold. What can you say when a special person has been at your side for nearly half a year and then a cloud of dust and nothing. Of course the urge is there everyday to contact them and say hey. You eventually realize the "its for the best" only works for the first few hours. Some days are better than others. What never goes away is the desire to know how they are doing. Life truly can be a bittersweet symphony.

Never really gave much thought to lives crossing paths over time and place. I do now, I most certainly do.

Life does roll forward always and where one chapter comes to a close another chapter shall begin.

For Starters

I have never had the urge to do something like this until now. I am not sure who, if anyone, would be interested in my thoughts. I guess if one person is interested then its well worth it. If that one individual is interested, entertained, and enjoys this then it will all be worth while.

So it is onward and upward then...

Oh and the title, it's simple, we are all sitting under the very same night sky and it makes me feel great comfort to know we all share that wonderfully larger than life commonality.